Relationship, Then Communication

We love pets because they give us endless love and remind us to live in the moment. I appreciate my cat, Bobbi Rose, for her curiosity, affection, and beauty. She makes everything look more graceful and her sweet eye contact makes me feel blissful.

Ever thought about how you communicate with your fur baby? If you’re like me you use motherese to say their name, narrate their actions, map intention onto their actions, ask silly questions, and repeat short phrases in various volume and intonation. And that’s how we communicate with infants and toddlers: Building a relationship and introducing them to routines and activities. It makes sense. Cats and dogs are cognitively similar to 2-3 year old toddlers, and people are ingrained with the skills to engage with our youngest communication partners.

Bobbi Rose is an intentional communicator. She makes it clear when she’s hungry, sleepy, wants pets, does not like the sound of the dishwasher, or repulses her crate on the way to the vet. My favorite is when she wants to be pet: She will sit next to me, look at my hands, then look into my eyes, and finally look back at my hands. When I pet her and sweetly say her name the pattern is positively reinforced, which strengthens the chance the routine occurs again.

If you’re looking for ways to promote your child’s communication skills, remember that a strong relationship is the first step. We try new, hard tasks when we feel safe and supported. Then we embed learning into fun, meaningful interactions with lots of turn-taking and positive reinforcement. As children’s language and cognitive skills grow learning strategies evolve; however, we get to use the same compassionate, calm, and playful approach with our pets day to day.